


With Her

by reigningqueenofwords



Series: House of Laughs [46]
Category: Avengers, Marvel, Supernatural
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27718445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Relationships: Cas x Wade x Steve x Reader
Series: House of Laughs [46]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1403809
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	With Her

Wade shook his head. “It’s okay.” 

“N-no.” You said softly. “Sounds like you were in your heaven, like it was a good dream.” You kissed his shoulder. “I’ll give you a minute, okay?” You stood. "I'll go let the guys know you're up, and then I'm gonna hop in the shower." It was taking everything in you not to break down.

Wade frowned. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have told you.” 

You gave him a sad smile. "I'm here for you. And I asked." You pointed out. "You can't keep it all inside, Wade." You reminded him before heading to your room. "Uh, Wade is awake. I'm gonna hop in the shower before breakfast." Without waiting for a reply, you went into the bathroom and locked the door. 

Bucky looked between Steve and Cas. "Did that seem weird to you?" He asked once the water was running.

“Yes.” Cas nodded. “She usually does not shower alone.” He noted. "She's upset. Very upset." He furrowed his brows. "I refuse to pry without her permission. Perhaps Wade knows why?" He turned his head towards the bathroom, hearing you cry.

Steve sat up, frowning as he got in defensive mode. He slipped on some shorts as he rushed to Wade’s room. "What happened?" He asked, seeing Wade sitting on the side of the bed. His head hung down, his elbows on his knees. "She's in the shower crying, and you look like you want to do the same thing." He crossed his arms. 

Wade groaned. “I opened my big mouth.” He shook his head. "I fucking called her  _ Vanessa _ . And told her about us trying for a kid, and my fucking dream." He punched the bed.

Steve let out a small grunt. “Oh no.” 

Cas frowned. “The woman you told me about?” He asked as he came in. 

He nodded, his chest aching. "She asked. I told." He told them. "She asked what Vanessa was like, and what my dream was about. I can't lie to her worth shit, so I told her!"

Steve sighed and sat next to him. “I get it. I would’ve done the same if she asked me about Pegs.” 

"Do you dream you're getting hitched in Vegas, her telling you she's finally pregnant, and that dream resulted in calling Y/N by her name?" Wade asked.

Steve grimaced and shook his head. “No, but…” He sighed. “I’m sorry.” 

"May I read your mind for the full conversation?" Cas asked. "Perhaps I can help in some way?"

“Go ahead. Witness my stupidity.” He sighed. Bucky was quiet, just watching. 

When Cas finished, he pulled away. "You also realize you told her you wanted those things 'with Vanessa'? You made it seem that would be the only person you'd ever want those things with. When she said she didn't know you wanted those things, you replied with 'with her, yeah'."

Steve gave him a look. “Do you just...is it true? That you just wanted it with Vanessa?” He asked, knowing that while that wasn't what you wanted now...it would still hurt like hell to hear that. 

"I was with her for years, so I had time to grow into that. It's been months with Y/N. So how can I want that with her right now when it's all about having fun?" Wade shrugged. 

Steve glanced down. “I get what you’re saying, but I can also see why that hurt her so much.” He said softly. "It probably sounded to her like she could never live up to even the memory of Vanessa."

Wade didn’t say anything for a long while. “You should know better than any of us three, your first love is your first love.” He pointed out. 

"I do, but Peggy wouldn't want me making the woman I love now feel like she isn't good enough." He said sternly. 

“Would you want me to find her in heaven?” Cas asked suddenly. His eyes were on Wade. 

Wade blinked. "You can do that?!"

“Try to, yes.” Cas nodded. "If I find her, I can deliver a message."

Wade nodded quickly. “Please. Please!” 

Steve swallowed and looked at Bucky. “Can you go check on her?” He asked. "I hate knowing she's feeling like this."

Bucky nodded and went to do as he asked, knocking on the bathroom door. “It’s just me.” He told you. The water was off, but the door was still locked. A moment later it opened to you standing there wrapped in a towel. “C’mere.” He said softly, not caring if you were dripping as he brought you into a hug. He kissed the top of your wet hair and held you close as you sniffed.

"I feel like I'm being selfish." You admitted. “I can’t be mad at him for who he loved and lost.” You went on. “And I’m over here crying because I feel like he’s never really been mine.”

Bucky rubbed your back. “I get it. I would feel the same.” 

"How many times did he sleep with me, and then dream of her?" You asked softly. "How often was he holding me, and thinking of her?"

Bucky pulled back and cupped your face. “Hey, no. Don’t go there. I doubt he’s that kind of guy.” He assured you. 

"I feel like I'm the other woman." You shrugged. “It’s not like I’ve ever had the love of my life before, but it was possible!” You sniffled. “And now I feel like I’m just the next best option.” It really hurt. "That I'm just to have fun and pass the time. That's all it will ever be." 

Bucky hugged you tightly. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I know they love you, doll. A whole lot.” He said honestly as you cried. 

You hiccuped. “I just don’t think they’ll be as serious about me as I feel about them. Wade was trying for kids with Vanessa. What if he never wants that with me? What then?” You shook your head. "He even said he wanted that  _ with her _ . It sounded like that was it. Her only."

Bucky frowned and shook his head. “Maybe he didn’t know if that was an option with you.” 

You shrugged a shoulder. "It just stung. Now maybe I should just...have fun." You sighed.

He winced but nodded. “If that’s what you want.” He said gently. "I'll support you."

"It's push this away and have fun, or always worry I'm just a backup. If she came back today, I'd lose him. Fun sounds safer." Once you decided, it was clear your demeanor changed. You took a deep breath and nodded. "So, I'm gonna grab my bag, and go back in there and get dressed. Can you find out what they'd like for breakfast?"

He looked at you worriedly and nodded. “Yeah, sure.” He gently kissed your forehead before stepping out. Looking at Wade, he shook his head. “Get your breakfast ideas together.” Was all he said before sitting on one of the chairs, not making eye contact. 

Wade swallowed. "Does she hate me?" 

Bucky shook his head. “She’s not capable of hating someone. But doesn’t mean things aren’t going to change.” 

Steve looked at him worriedly. “What does that mean?” 

"Something in  _ her  _ changed." He explained. "She just said she's just going to 'have fun' or always worry she's the back up. That if Vanessa came back right now, she would lose him."

Cas frowned. “Is that correct?” He looked at Wade. "Would you leave for Vanessa?"

“Could you bring her back?” Wade countered. "If you can find her in heaven, could you?"

Cas set his face. “That wasn’t an answer to the question.” He said seriously. "Yes. Or. No."

“No. It’s not that easy, though!” Wade defended. He countered. "Not even close!"

Bucky clenched his jaw. “You don’t deserve her.” He snapped. 

You walked in, having heard. You sighed. "It's okay, from what he told me...she's right for him." You shrugged. "But, she isn't here anymore. We can't expect him to stay alone." You lifted your hands in the air. “So let’s just have fun, fellas.” You told them. "Where are we going for breakfast?" You asked, pushing down everything from that morning.

Wade sagged. “M’not hungry.” He muttered. 

"You eat more than anyone I know." You pointed out. "You've eaten in the shower before."

“I think it’s good if we go without him, actually.” Bucky stood. 

Cas felt ashamed since he opened his mouth about Heaven. He looked down. "I need to bring Cupcake back to the bunker." She had been left alone in the other room. "Call me after breakfast." He went to kiss your cheek sadly and walked out. 

Once he had gone there was a huge tension in the room. ”Lets go, Stevie.” Bucky pulled your waist and motioned for his friend to follow. 

"Come on, Wade." You looked at him. You wanted to hug him, to tell him that everything was okay, that you love him… But something inside held you back. You were scared that you'd break.

“I deserve a time out.” Wade sighed. “I’ve ruined everything.” He shook his head. "You'll never love me again."

You shook your head but didn’t say much to combat that worry of his. As much as you wanted to, your voice wouldn't work.

“See.” Wade laid down. “Just go. I’ll pack my stuff.” He said, his voice cracking. 

You sighed. “I’m not asking you to leave the trip.” You managed. “I just...I just want to put this behind us.” You swallowed. “I don’t want to dwell on this huge elephant that will always be there.”

“So we just drop it?” He asked. “Like that?” 

You shrugged. “What else can we do, Wade?” You asked sadly. 

“I messed up, though.” He frowned. “You’re clearly upset.” He pointed out. “Like, really upset. Worse than when Hunk didn’t tell the other Hunk about us.”

You looked down. “I just know I’ll never be good enough. I’m getting used to accepting that.” You played with the hem of your shirt. “That what I feel for you will probably never be matched.”

“You don’t know that. I love you! So much!” He looked at you desperately. “I just said the wrong thing.” He insisted. “Just because I loved her like that, doesn’t mean I can’t ever love you like that. I was with Vanessa for years, babe!” He explained. “I was just explaining our life. I wasn’t comparing anything!” He promised. “I can’t help what my brain does when I’m sleeping. Hell, I can barely control this damn thing when I’m awake.” 

You shrugged. “Exactly. So we can move past this.” You told him, even though you knew you’d hold onto it but you wouldn’t tell him that. You couldn’t. It would ruin what you did have at the moment.

He frowned. “I’ll try if that’s what you want.” 

“Why do I feel like I’m the bad guy?” You knew that you both had a right to be upset.

“I’m not doing anything on purpose.” Wade shook his head. “I promise. C-can I hug you?”

You shrugged and nodded. Licking your lips, you moved towards him as he all but jumped up, moving towards you.

He squeezed you tightly, afraid you’d change your mind. “I love you, so much, Hot Stuff.” He said emotionally, burying his face in your neck. 

You bit your lip. “I love you, too.” You pulled back after a few seconds. “Now will you come to breakfast?” You asked pleadingly. “Please?” 

He nodded and moved to get dressed as you went to stand with the other guys. You leaned against Steve’s chest. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head. You blinked away tears and reached for Bucky’s hand to give it a squeeze. “Thanks for defending me and supporting me.” You gave him a small smile. 

He squeezed it back. “Any time, doll.” He promised. “I’m practically your bodyguard.” He said playfully with a tender smile. “I’d even beat Stevie up for you.” He teased.

You smiled wider. “That’s a wrestling match I’d like to see.” You giggled. "It'd be one hell of an even match."

Steve squeezed you. “Bucky  _ thinks  _ he can take me.” He smiled and winked at his friend. "I learned how to be quick before I got buff."

Bucky snorted. “Yet the serum didn’t stop you from tripping on your own feet.” He nudged him. 

Wade finally joined the three you you, looking like he felt out of place. "That looks more right than you being with someone who looks like me." He said sadly. 

You instantly frowned. “That’s not a nice thing to say about yourself. You fit right in.” You told him. "Have I ever given the impression that I'm not attracted to you? Hell, I've fucked you enough that I'm pretty sure it's obvious I am!"

He looked sheepish. “No, which I’m grateful for. Sex included. But look at these boys.” He motioned above you. "They're like Greek gods." 

Bucky sighed. “As much as I’m mad at you, I’m not going to let you get down on yourself.” He pointed a finger at him. "She lights up when you talk. Usually." He noted. "You're a good friend, and need to stop being a dick to yourself." 

Steve nodded, nudging his foot with his. “He’s right. You deserve to be a boyfriend just as much as any of us.” He told him. "You're still my boyfriend, and Cas's. Just as much as hers." 

Wade looked down and nodded. “Thanks, Hunks.” He said shyly. "I'm sorry to you guys, too. I know her being upset upset you two.” 

“Thanks for your apology.” Steve nodded. “Now, how about we all go eat, and make this day better?” 

“Can I invite angel boy?” Bucky asked. “I don’t want him feeling left out.”

Steve grinned. “I’m glad you’ve come around to him. Pray to him and ask. It’ll make his morning.” He told him. 


End file.
